I strolled through the family room a couple of hours ago and immediately became ensnared by the program which happened to be showing on the television. The H2 cable network, what used to be the somewhat more legitimate History International Channel, was once again running a mini-marathon featuring back-to-back episodes of the UFO Files and Ancient Aliens – The Series.
What thinking man could possibly resist the extraterrestrial equivalent of gazing upon a National Enquirer cover while waiting in the grocery store check-out line?
Later in the day, it occurred to me that Ancient Aliens has become little more than the 21st century version of those sideshows which routinely accompanied traveling circuses, carnivals, and annual county fairs during the 19th and 20th centuries.
I know that I couldn’t resist them when I was a kid; “Hiya! Hiya! Step right up! One thin dime, one tenth of a dollar! See the Incredible Two-Headed Monkey Boy! ”
Apparently, as an adult, I’m just as easily mesmerized by the hucksterism and pseudo-science which has become the stock-in-trade of the self-proclaimed ancient astronaut theorists. This troupe has made the Ancient Alien series their personal cash cow and raison d’etre.
The extraterrestrial snake oil being offered up by the theorists featured on today’s Ancient Alien episode was that of the “World Energy Grid.” If these pundits are to be believed, this is a network of imaginary straight lines encircling our planet and dividing it up into a grid consisting of 120 triangles. The points at which the various grid lines intersect, identify points where aberrations in the earth’s energy field generate energy vortices and the ever popular and ubiquitous “portals to other dimensions”.
The ancient astronaut theorists contend that thousands of years ago, extraterrestrial visitors to our planet used their advanced technologies to tap into the energy which is available at these intersections in the world energy grid.
These ancient astronauts, who our forebears quite naturally assumed were gods, used this energy to do everything from recharging the delithium crystals in their motherships, to leviating and easily transporting the massive blocks of stone which were used to construct neolithic monuments such as Stonehenge, the Easter Island moai, and the various pyramids scattered around our planet.
In turn, many of these ancient sites, for instance the Carnac stones in France and the Nazca lines in Peru, served as very convenient navigational beacons for the extraterrestrials as they cavorted all around the globe like jet-setters bound for the Cote d’Azur.
The 10-year old version of myself, fishing in his pocket for that dime, would like to believe this; but the 60-something version finds himself saying, “Hold on just a minute. I’ve got a couple of questions.”
According to the ancient astronaut theorists, this world energy grid is very well documented and understood. If that’s the case, why aren’t we utilizing the naturally occurring energy which is supposedly so abundant at these well identified points of intersection? Something tells me that a scientist with a voltmeter would find no more energy on the world energy grid than could be found by placing the probe across the terminals of a 9-volt battery.
I also find it somewhat hard to believe that any civilization possessing the technology required to travel several light-years in order to reach Earth, would then find it necessary to erect stone pillars and scratch long lines in the desert in order to avoid becoming lost. Don’t you think that they would have already acquired a GPS device?
Even though I can suspend reality long enough to enjoy an occasional episode of Ancient Aliens – The Series, I’m quite certain that I’ll be keeping that dime deep within my pocket.
Live long and prosper.